Lessons I learned from my mom

 Sunday, Mother's day 2011.  

In honor of Mother's Day, I have selected a few lessons learned from moms:

Lessons learned from my mom:

*Be independent, always know how to take care of yourself.

*Work hard, hard work always pays off.

*Believe: you can do anything you want and put your mind to.

*Love: your heart is never wrong, love always.

*Instinct, always follow your gut.

*Treat others the way you want to be treated, with compassion and love.

*Give more then what you think you want to give, being selfless is the closest thing to spirituality.

*When in doubt, always wear Chanel

Happy Mother's Day to my mom and grandma in Heaven.

Your love, energy and spirit is with me always.

From other women's about their moms:

Leading by example

Courtesy of Katie Cassidy

Since I was a little girl, I would wake up in the morning, run to bathroom and watch my mom put on her makeup every day for work. I was truly mesmerized by her. She might not know to this day, but she taught me more through her daily actions than anything. She was a single mother and stepmother throughout her life, while facing many challenges. But, I always knew that there was nothing we could not overcome together. She taught me confidence in how she walked and carried herself. She taught me how to stand up for myself in any situation. She taught me to value myself…I thank my Mom for all of the wonderful morals, ethics and values she helped instill in me. Mom, thanks for being you.

Katie Cassidy, Chicago, Ill.

Never stop learning how to mother 

Courtesy Janelle Leiseth

What have I learned from my mother? So very much (even when I wasn't "listening!"), and I wish to say I could learn more. I lost my mother, Judy Henderson, two months ago to an aggressive form of uterine cancer. As I think back to my childhood, my mother was an example of providing for her family… I learned from her that you take care of your family's basic needs (the meals, the wash, etc.) but you need take care of yourself, as well. In my mother's case: join a bowling league, be active in your church and community, have parties with friends. When I became a mother myself, I learned that my mom is ALWAYS my mom and mothers tend to continue to give advice whenever they see a need. 

And in the final stage, at the threat of losing my mom, I learned that a mother never stops learning, herself. Between cancer treatments, my mom was reading a devotional book during a stay with us. My mom shared the story about a little girl that never received kisses and loves from her parents, and this brave little girl decided to be the change in her family by giving her parents a kiss every night before bed. After many nights, it seemed her efforts weren't changing anything, so the little girl decided to stop with the kisses... her mother came to her bed that night for a goodnight kiss. It was this story that moved my mother to intentionally give me and my husband a goodnight kiss that evening and every night thereafter - something I rarely received from her while growing up. It was this story that taught my mom how to "mother." It was this story that made me realize we are all still learning in this thing we call life. Through my mom, I learned that we are all gifts to each other.

Janelle Leiseth, Moorhead, Minn.

Make something out of nothing

Courtesy Ginny Bowerman

 Mom taught me that I can make something out of nothing. All my mother’s life, she would sand, scrape, paint, sew clothes and recover furniture and build small things from scrap wood. If something was ugly – she would make it pretty. If she needed something but couldn’t afford it or it wasn’t available – she would try to make it. My first memory of her cleverness was her first “sewing room.” We lived in a three story apartment building and the coat closet was tucked under the staircase going up to the next floor. This closet was just the right size to put a small skinny table found in a thrift store and on it was the rebuilt in Japan Singer sewing machine. When not using the closet, the door was closed and no one ever knew. She made wall hangings out of Hawaii cruise menus, spice racks out of cardboard boxes, vanity tables out of wood boxes and contact paper, bed headboards from leftover scrap wood… I know folks from the depression era “made do” with lots of things, but when my mom did it, it looked stunning. 

Ginny Bowerman, Aptos, Calif.

Take one day at a time

Courtesy Emily Cleveland

My mom has not only been an outstanding mother figure but also my best friend. She has truly been my rock. Never judged me when I might have made the wrong decisions.  Always taught me to "take one day at a time" and that everything will happen in God's time. I just want to say thanks for teaching me how to be a Mom.  

Emily Cleveland, Frankfort, Kentucky

Be strong, independent

Courtesy Pam Day

My mom was a waitress who worked 6 days a week, 12 hours per day (Tuesday was her only day off) and struggled to make ends meet. She never got a dime of child support or a government handout yet always managed to keep us fed, in a clean home, with clean clothes. She had a lot of pride and taught us cleanliness, manners and a strong work ethic. She also never had a charge card and taught us the value of a nickel. She also made sure we went to Sunday school every Sunday. I learned to be a strong, independent woman with my own point of view and to never depend on a man for emotional or financial support. With that behind me, I married the most amazing man in the world 30 years ago. I thank my mom for the strong women my sister and I became. 

Pam Day, Sandpoint, Idaho

Marry for love…or moneyThe things my mother taught me: Walk like a lady. English snobs are worse than wine snobs. Clean fingernails are the window to the soul. Leave it like you found it -- only better. You can be anything you want to be -- you just have to work for it. Never walk in public with a cigarette in your hand. Ever. Cussing is for people with a limited vocabulary. If you have to look at the price tag, you can't afford it…There are no substitutes for real butter, Velveeta, Jiffy Peanut Butter, King Dongs and homemade spaghetti sauce. Be suspicious of a family that lives in a spotless home. Don't talk to strangers. Curiosity is the key to life. If you don't know the meaning of a word-look it up! When threading a needle, the thread should not be longer than your elbow. If you can smell your own perfume -- you're wearing too much. Marry for love. If that doesn't work out, marry for money. My mother died of lung cancer in 1987 at the age of 49.  

Elizabeth Daugherty, Akron, Ohio

Wait for ‘the lid that fits’

Courtesy Kathy Aden

My mother was a very wise women. When she had something important to tell me, she always used my middle name.... thus I knew to listen carefully. For instance, she said, "Kathy Jean, if you can't say something nice, do not say anything at all." "Kathy Jean, look into the eyes of the people to whom you are speaking and have a firm handshake." But the very most important piece of advice came when I was whining that I wasn't married at the age of 22. She looked at me and said, "Kathy Jean, there is a lid for every pot. Wait until you find a lid that fits." Well I did, and we celebrated our 40th anniversary in April. Yay Mom! 

Kathy Aden, Arvada, Colo.

Create the life that you want

Courtesy Cassandra Thomas

My mother has empowered me to defy any standards that have been set in place for me and follow my own true path. Her encouragement and ability to provide strong guidance while allowing me to make mistakes, learn from lessons, and trust my decisions, has helped me to become a person that is not afraid to live life. As a young woman, my mother was restricted in many ways -- culturally as a Mexican woman living in the United States, socially with the language barriers, personally in her marriage, and economically as an immigrant with no formal education. However, she strived to survive and though we experienced hardships as a family, I don't ever recall feeling as if I was a disadvantaged youth. We were rich in so many ways that had nothing to do with money and I credit her for creating a world that was in abundance of love, security and hope. I was raised with one expectation, to respect and love myself as well as others. My mother handed me a clean slate, a piece of chalk, and advised me to create the life that I wanted because, after all, it was me who had to live it…I have learned from my mother that determination will always defeat trepidation…I hope to continue to learn lessons every day from my mom, my hero. 

Cassandra Thomas, Chicago, Ill 

Always apologize, never swear

We (4 siblings, 9 grandchildren) have all learned many things from my mom. Gran is such an amazing example to all of us. She always put her family’s needs in front of her own. This woman (who is 84) still puts three squares on the table each day for our Dad (who is 85) and runs the home they built together. She taught me to always be aware of hurting others and that apologizing is not a bad thing. She taught us honesty, letting the cashier know they gave you too much money back. She took us to church every Sunday and showed us how to be a living Christian (doing the right thing, not just talking the right thing). She always came to watch us participate in all our sports as children. She came to watch our children participate in all their sporting events as well. We knew where she stood on swearing and dirty jokes and our children know that rude behavior is not acceptable in front of Grannie…She is quick to laugh and quick to show her tender heart…She taught us to sew, knit, quilt, embroidery, garden and cook. We know how to pitch-in and get a job completed. She is an amazing example of the Greatest Generation and I hope I have been even half the mom to my girls that she is to us.

Dana Hatch, Lindale, Texas 

Remember to dance in the rain

As a child, I thought Mommy knew everything and could do anything. Good times, cooking, chasing monsters and kissing away all the "owies." As a teenager, I thought her old, dumb, and very selfish, and I certainly "deserved" all of her sacrifices and more. Then one day I was a mom myself and, boy, did I realize in a hurry that the older I got, the smarter my mom seemed... or, maybe she was that smart all along?!!. My mom knew how hard life can be...She married very young and raised seven children. My mom taught us about self-respect, honesty and hard work. Mom taught us about accountability, being brave, and standing tall. That it's okay to be different, to always be honest, tolerant, and fair; that we were no better than anyone else, but no one was any better than we were. To believe in ourselves, be independent, to share, to love our home and our country, to learn every day, to be kind to others, to love each other, to forgive, to DANCE in the rain.… Mom taught us all about the true riches in life: God, family, love, freedom, honor, nature, and health. If my son and my own grandchildren learn anything of those values from me, it was taught to me by that beautiful, wise woman, my mother, Frankie Smiddy. 

Darlene Warr Swindell, Amarillo, Tex.