When trying to solve a problem, most experts recommend the following: approach the issue with clarity, understand the issue, plan a strategy then execute the strategy. For the past few months, some of my strategies have worked well. Taking care of myself for once, working in building my career in a new space for another but the one thing that I realized is not working for me is my communication with the ex. I have had a "let's be friends" approach wanting to be here for him despite my own feelings of disappointment and sadness. Off course, it's has been a two way street and hearing from him has helped me not feel abandoned. What lead to this realization was a desire to congratulate him for completing his first year of university which lead to email and phone call which lead to frustration on my part for the way my "wish you well" greetings were met. Dare I say border line rude on his part... You get the picture, not pretty. I would like for this to be our last conversation but I have to remind myself that all is temporary and that for now, I need to create real space, not pick up the phone, answer the text, the email.
I need to put myself first and put aside all things "us". My desire to be civil has been masking what I suspect to be a deep rooted desire for some kind of future possible reconciliation and who knows perhaps someday there might be one but for now, this open door needs to be closed. Friends concurred and furthermore some offered their own experience of it... A guy friend of mine introduced me to the women he left after 11 years only to come back to her after 6 months, "crawling back" as he put it. I sat down next to her in awe of her strength as she told me how she just cut him off completely which in result drove him crazy... yep, that simple... I am not sure if I could call it an "Ah Ha" moment but after leaving that conversation, I came home, took all the photos down and put them in a box to visit later. I then downloaded Gloria Gaynor's timeless anthem "I will survive" to give myself further inspiration.
*Crazy romantic story of the day*
Ran into a former co-worker of mine with her 4 months old son and husband she wed in 2009.
She told me how she was at a bar in Santa Monica after ending a relationship and heard her name being called. Turned out to be all coming from a guy she went to high school with in upstate New York! He was wearing a tee with the words "single" on them she also mentioned! And the rest as they say is history...
Quote of the day:
“Never let mistakes and wrong directions–which every human falls into–discourage you. There is precious instruction to be learned by finding out what or where we went wrong. We must try faithfully to be right, and we will surely grow daily more and more right. Our very learning to walk was an incessant falling and rising again; falling and catching ourselves before we hit the ground until finally we walked with ease. How very emblematic this is of all a human being does.
Thomas Carlyle
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