It's been a truly busy week with lots of great meetings, awesome conversations and good overall feelings. Even in times of crisis, I stayed calm and motored through. Then came Friday. Phone rings, ex checking in, missing L.A he said... "Nice to hear from you and glad you miss the city of angels. It's wonderful here and I would miss it too if I were you" I said. Conversation was light and lovely.
Almost made me regret my wish not to speak nor hang with him till 2012. With the holidays around the corner, the last thing I need, is to hear about his warm and cozy family holiday plans I am not a part of this year. Tis the season not be feel bad about myself. With further chat came that not so good feeling in your stomach as he made comments about not settling like all his friends did (as it turns out his last two single friends are now engaged). "Wow" is all I could say as a feeling of hurt, anger and disappointment took over my body taken back by the statement. "If dating me was settling, I hope you find what makes you happy I said". Silence akwardness ensued as you can imagine.
So just when I needed that extra push to follow my gut instinct and create further distance between us, I got more then I bargained for. It seems the more I hear from him the less I want to. I rather remember what we had and wish for the love and passion I felt to translate into my work, friendships and future relationship when I am ready for that.
Who knew I would feel this way but I am starting to understand and remind myself that I deserve so much more. As Donna & Barbara sung in the 70's, Enough is enough!!
Almost made me regret my wish not to speak nor hang with him till 2012. With the holidays around the corner, the last thing I need, is to hear about his warm and cozy family holiday plans I am not a part of this year. Tis the season not be feel bad about myself. With further chat came that not so good feeling in your stomach as he made comments about not settling like all his friends did (as it turns out his last two single friends are now engaged). "Wow" is all I could say as a feeling of hurt, anger and disappointment took over my body taken back by the statement. "If dating me was settling, I hope you find what makes you happy I said". Silence akwardness ensued as you can imagine.
So just when I needed that extra push to follow my gut instinct and create further distance between us, I got more then I bargained for. It seems the more I hear from him the less I want to. I rather remember what we had and wish for the love and passion I felt to translate into my work, friendships and future relationship when I am ready for that.
Who knew I would feel this way but I am starting to understand and remind myself that I deserve so much more. As Donna & Barbara sung in the 70's, Enough is enough!!
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