Edge Of My Seat

Today, I kept on telling myself that I had reached my edge.  A few things triggered this...  I had a challenging episode work wise which lead me to believe I might be on the job market soon.  I am still recovering from feeling sick so my energy was not where it ought to be.  In all of my "edgeness", I was however grateful for the sunny skies of L.A as I got to enjoy walking to a meeting (yes, I walked in L.A...) .  Once I got back home, I decided to look up the word "Edge" in the dictionary just to define to myself exactly what I was feeling and inner vocalizing.  Two definitions popped up: 

1. A point near the beginning or the end; especially :brink, verge "on the edge of disaster".  The threshold of danger or ruin "living on the edge".

2. A favorable margin : advantage "has an edge on the competition".

The first definition seem to illustrate how I felt at that moment.  Having had enough, not being able to deal anymore with what life was throwing at me, not wanting to deal with yet another issue, nearing a point of being done with it all.  Then the second definition was a reflection of where I wanted to be.  Taking all this pain, sadness and "over it all" attitude and turn it into an advantage of some kind.  Something that would feel better then this helpless feeling of not having control... 
Then I remembered something Oprah says: "What you do have control over is how you react to whatever happens in your life."  Easier said then done but a thought to thrive for in the days to come.  
Bottle the edge and turn it into gold.  Just call me The Alchemist...

*Special thanks to Mark S. for visit and emergency cigi and Bernard & Zel for call. 
Playlist inspired by this bluesy monday...