I kept on thinking of the conversation I had last night with the ex today as I was walking around Hollywood. I came to the obvious conclusion that what the depth of my love for him did not measure up to his or should I say his did not measure up to mine. What I thought was a castle built of solid bricks of understanding, common goals and foreverness all sealed up with soulmate cement was nothing more of house of cards his winds of change blew overnight. Pretty common misunderstanding among the dumpee population I suppose. My level of maturity about our love and relationship is so beyond what he feels, knows and wants at this point in his life, it made me realize even more why he ended our relationship. His honestly felt like daggers to my heart and yet I woke up with a sense of appreciation for knowing where he stands. " You will always have a special place in my heart" is not what I wanted to hear but I rather hear that then live in illusions of "forever" when there is no "now". I know I will get the lesson I need to learn from this in the days to come. For now, I just keep adding pieces to this puzzle getting closer to resolution within myself.
I was invited to an art gallery in celebration of the West Hollywood's art walk tonight. I discovered an american painter named Margo Selski whom I instantly fell in love with, see paintings below. Then I got dragged to The Abbey and spent sometime being social ( totally against my will!) , good things did happen, I made another great contact for my software endeavors! 2 hours later, I finally said my goodnights and walked back to my car. I can't stand being out on a Saturday night in West Hollywood. Pure torture and not my scene. Plus after 3 + years of relationship, being out on a Saturday night among the rest of the desperate singles feels awful and ever so cheap... Glad to be home! Dedicating tomorrow to perfecting my presentation, it's due Tuesday and I need to rock it!
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