While enjoying a well deserved nap (perks of working from home), I was awoken by a forgotten yet familiar sound, the ex's custom ring tone... OMG, he is calling I screamed internally (still too sleepy to speak). The conversation lasted for about 5 minutes and could be classified under "Hi, I am checking on you". I did think it was nice of him to call but considering I have not discovered the secrets to time travel to go back 3 weeks in time around Valentine's day when I was crying tears of happiness and Joy upon getting the most beautiful and thoughtful card and gift from him, I wanted to yell: "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM DOING?". But instead I kept my composure, spoke of my work, admitted my sadness and the fact that I miss him. I did not have the energy nor the desire to seem strong when in reality everyday is a battle to stay positive and move forward. That day will come I am certain. As much as I wish I could have been singing along Mary J. Blige, Let No Man Put Asunder
, today was just not that day. As our conversation was winding down, I realized as Annie Lennox sings so well that there were No More "I Love You's"
to end our talk and seal the words we spoke. Instead nothing more then a friendly bye and speak soon. I instantly started thinking of the song's chorus which was the perfect soundtrack to this very moment:
, today was just not that day. As our conversation was winding down, I realized as Annie Lennox sings so well that there were No More "I Love You's" to end our talk and seal the words we spoke. Instead nothing more then a friendly bye and speak soon. I instantly started thinking of the song's chorus which was the perfect soundtrack to this very moment:
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me
No more "I love you's"
The language is leaving me in silence
No more "I love you's"
Changes are shifting outside the word
In silence, I hung up the phone, got up and made myself a comforting cup of tea. I put on Amy Winehouse's Tears Dry on Their Own
to console myself. Although that girl is a royal mess, she seems to know a thing or two about heartache. Singing along, the lyrics spoke to me:
to console myself. Although that girl is a royal mess, she seems to know a thing or two about heartache. Singing along, the lyrics spoke to me:He walks away,
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown,
And in this grey, in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own...
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown,
And in this grey, in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own...
To file under other things that suck:
*Filling up emergency contact info and realizing the ex is not that person anymore. Sidenote: Mark S. You are my new emergency contact.
*Birthday cards featuring " from the two of us" I purchased. I suppose I could still send them and sign them from "Jade and her imaginary friend Jimmy"
Fav quote of the day:
Sadness flies away on the wings of time. ~Jean de La Fontaine
The Wounded Angel (Haavoittunut enkeli) (1898-1903) by Hugo Simberg
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